In their book ‘Challenging Coaching’ John Blakey and Ian Day talk about the coaching contract being a ‘covenant’ or a ‘sacred promise’, which inspired this resource for coaches. A promise helps us as coaches to remember we are in a relationship with the people we work with, whereas the word ‘contract’ brings with it all sorts of legal language baggage.
For coaching to have an impact on our lives it needs to be set within a safe container that is strong enough to weather the storms of relationship. There needs to be a clear destination, an understanding of what the work is we are here to do and how will we do that together. Like any powerful partnership, in coaching the relationship needs to be strong enough to weather challenge, tears, resistance, joy and growth; to be strong enough to hold fracture and repair, a safe harbour until the person we work with finds their way home. A logistical contract is woefully lacking for the task, necessary but insufficient for transformational work, whereas a co-created promise can build the vessel for travel. The Laid Bare PROMISES model offers you some prompts to build that vessel in partnership with the people you work with for an adventure of discovery.
There are two levels of promise we create together in the coaching, a promise for the coaching relationship as a whole and the promise for each and every session. PROMISES is an aide-memoire for the former, the latter we explore with Claire Pedrick’s STOKERS model in another resource.
PROMISES offers you a reminder of all of the areas you might want to consider with the people you work with, it is not a check list. This pre-coaching conversation is as much a part of coaching as any of the other skills you employ, and in our experience the foundation for some transformational work. The more focus you put on being clear that you can build a strong partnership together, the less likely you are to fall into areas of conflict, dilemma and poor outcomes.
Purpose
What brought the person to coaching? What is the work that needs to be done? Often people present with a long-standing issue or concern, but something will have triggered them to take action and seek coaching now. How do they feel coaching will help them?
Relationship
How will you build a partnership for the work to be done? Has the person had coaching before? If so, what worked well and not so well; if not what do they need to know about you and you about them to build a trusting and effective partnership? What do they need to know about you? Qualifications, ethical code, complaints process?
Outcome
What needs to be different at the end of the coaching relationship; how will success be defined? This needs to be highly specific and measurable
Margins
What are the margins or boundaries you are working within? What is up for discussion and what is not? Particularly if this work is being sponsored and paid for by a third party. Is there clarity about the boundaries between coaching and other interventions?
In case
This is your opportunity to explore how you will deal, in partnership with emerging issues or dilemmas. A discussion more easily held in the abstract in advance rather than an embarrassed bargaining discussion when you hit a roadblock. This element of the conversation might start with a “what will we do if…”
Strategy
What strategy will you agree for the relationship, this should cover logistics such as: when, where and how often you will get together and for how long, cost, cancellations, review process and any reporting requirements, payment terms and cancellation policies. Record keeping.
Expectations
In order to avoid entering unknowingly into obligations and commitments we need to have a discussion where we can surface some of our own and our client’s expectations in the coaching relationship.
Safety
How can we create a safe working relationship where the client feels supported by their coach and thinking partner to express themselves fully? Confidentiality will be key but where are the parameters? What does the person need to build trust and intimacy? Have you considered your duty of care to the client and others? In short, how you intend to honour their information and well-being
Foy & Hayes-Jones (The Laid Bare Company)
As you can see from the model, we are exploring in this conversation what brought someone to coaching, why this, why now and what would they like to achieve at the end of the relationship. What do they want from the coach and how will you agree together how to work, what might get in the way and how you might navigate any issues that arise? What do you expect from each other and how will you agree the boundaries of confidentiality?
A key element of this discussion is can you build an effective relationship. We know that it is tempting, especially when building a coaching practice, to accept anyone who wants to pay for your coaching and sadly therein lies the potential for pitfalls. No coach is the right coach for everyone and trying to be that will damage your reputation before you have built it. Spending time creating the safe vessel for your journey together or recognising that another coach can do that more effectively will ultimately prove a better business decision as well as an ethically sound basis for your coaching. We can promise you that from bitter experience.
We hope you find this resource useful, and we would love to hear from you of your experience putting it into practice, adapting it to improve it or a better way you have found, all is good learning
Have fun
Karen and Suzanne
PS If you would like to read more about the beginnings and endings of coaching you could read Karen’s chapter in The Coaches Handbook , The Complete Practitioner Guide for Professional Coaches, edited by Jonathan Passmore, 2021, Routledge
